Graceful is not a word that I would use to describe my life. In 2013, I was pushed off the treadmill, (once again) and into the woods. The woods are so peaceful. Then, of course, there are bugs, poison ivy, cold and hot weather, snakes, spiders...well, you get the picture. So, though I always land softly amid the undergrowth, daily life in the natural world can be a bit of a challenge. I didn't even have a tent. Well, I did have an expensive house that came with the treadmill. I had car payments, health care, dental floss and Bed Bath and Beyond on my shopping list. In the woods, my currency was my imagination. Although my imagination was handy, it wasn't of tangible assistance when the bills were due.So, what now? Hmmm....I got nuthin'.
The phone rang, and one of my dearest friends, said..."Hey! there is a teaching job available, it would be a great fit while you sort this out!" Unenthused, I said, "Thanks."
Really. Teaching. Again?
I interviewed, laughed at the salary, and took the job. I was SO humbled.
Back to the woods.
I had my ego up my a'rse. Plainly, I couldn't play kindly with others. Not because I am not nice, but because I was SO ticked off to be on the treadmill in the first place. My ego wanted to be a hotshot with money flowin' from my Banana Republic pants. My heart was in a different place.
My heart wanted to learn to love unconditionally. I did not have a clue about that.
Life has a way of teaching. Sometimes it feels like my undies are riding up. Not pleasant. Time for a different size or undies design. Maybe I needed big girl panties. Oh my, not BIG GIRL PANTIES!
Fast forward. Still in the woods. Teaching students with emotionally creative coping mechanisms. Hmmm. Might I see myself in these little people? Yes. I believe so.
I am not out of the woods. Doubt if I will ever leave, again. I have found way too much peace here. I am a better mate, a better mother, a better friend than I have ever been. It isn't all about me... and, I have learned that I DO matter.
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