On the Outside

The terms "liberal and conservative" have been tossed around for so long that neither has much appeal.  "Liberals" are associated with socialistic policies, and loosely held moral standards.  The conservative aspect is often seen as aligned with elitism, bigotry and hate.  Neither of these characterizations are complete or entirely accurate.

They do, however, make it easy for the average person to "pick a side".  "Side-picking" is what it is all about, isn't it?

The reality is that people are busy.  They don't have the time to delve deeply into issues and policies, even though they are directly or indirectly affected.  Hence, the need for simplistic characterizations, such as, liberal and conservative.

Recently, the passage of RFRA, in the state of Indiana, created a massive stir.  Huge names in business, politics, and entertainment pushed back hard on this "conservative" policy.  Governor Pence and Indiana's state legislative bodies, in the end, were forced to modify RFRA.

Conservatives lead with cries for religious freedom, while liberals countered with the need for anti-discrimination protections for LBGT persons.  Pressure was applied and conservatives gave ground.

At heart, both sides simply want respect. People of faith want to live their faith in accordance with their beliefs.  LGBT people want to be viewed as equals and treated fairly at work, at play, and at worship.

Last night, I attended a Town Hall event intended to clarify RFRA and continue to mobilize LGBT citizens to participate in their government. As I looked around the room, I saw and heard many intelligent people express their desire and hope for equity in all aspects of their lives.

I also discovered my injuries and personal pain from years of living a less than authentic life. Then, I multiplied my pain by thousands.  I discovered the exponential pain of the LGBT citizens of our world.  I wanted to run to the shadows, hidden from your view. I also wanted to stand up and be recognized.  Big things are really never simple.

As we legislate in our country, our states, and our communities, let's weigh the cost of any law in measure of the human pain it will procure.   Are the benefits grounded in equity?  Do the benefits outweigh the human cost?

Of course this is a much more difficult course to take.  It is far easier to continue to see ourselves as simply "liberals" and "conservatives" and make all of our decisions based on these shallow measures.

Faith and Equity

Religion is a personal belief system selected by individuals and groups. A democratic government is a public agency that is engendered to define policies, systems, and rules that guide a diverse populace. It is really that simple.

In the United States, any person should be able to practice any religion, without fear of harassment or discrimination. Since religious beliefs and practices are so diverse, it is the role of government to ensure that all religions are treated fairly. 

The same-sex marriage debate is an issue that is deeply intertwined with Christian tradition. Religious leaders and practitioners should feel free to argue the merits of performing same-sex marriages as a part of their religious services.  Our government should not and does not interfere with religious freedoms that impact individual churches and their membership.

Conversely, the role of a democratic government is to ensure that all groups are treated fairly and equitably.  In a highly pluralistic society, government cannot align with a specific religious ideology. If that were the case, then all other religious ideologies would become subordinate to the primary ideology. Theology cannot rule in a democracy.

The rules and practices that guide a democratic government are developed through conversations with its constituents. Constituents that insist upon making arguments based upon religious tenets should expect to be discounted.  Religion cannot inform a democratic government. 

Religion's role is to provide a place of worship for it's membership.  Government's role is to provide a peaceful and just society where all people, including minority groups, may flourish.

What Lies Beyond the Village?

In 2010, we established new roots in the quaint Midwestern town of Carmel, IN. We selected our neighborhood because of the people, not the homes.  Our neighborhood is filled with families. There are scads of children and parents that are invested in the education and the lifestyle that this community provides.  When purchasing this home, we had already decided that our son would grow up here.

We wanted to recreate our childhood for Turner.  A childhood marked by stability and consistency.  A place where neighbors became friends and children grew.  We wanted a village of like-minded people. 

In the four years since we first settled in this community, Turner has encountered the loss of three families in close emotional and physical proximity to ours. These families contained a total of eight of Turner's good friends.  

Turner loves an entourage.  He is a classic example of an extrovert.  In his mind, "the more the merrier", is a way of life.  He is a peacekeeper, a scuffle settler and a communicator.  The losses that Turner has experienced has given the saying, "It takes a village..", new meaning in our lives.   

The truth?  The village is gone.  The neighborhood that Nicole and I knew as children, has been replaced by collections of families that mingle less and move more. Driven by money, career, bigger homes and opportunity, the village has become a relic of the past.

Ours is a strong and self-reliant family.  We know how to nurture one another and move through changes.  Turner has recovered quickly from his losses, but is mindful that loss is imminent.  At ten years of age he has experienced more loss than I did in twenty years.

I wonder about the impact of this shift on our world.  I wonder if our neighborhoods are less cohesive and if our bonds are more shallow.  I wonder if this makes our neighborhoods more like large cities where anonymity among neighbors is commonplace.

Turner's losses will not deter us from reaching across the street, but we will do so, knowing that all connections are temporal.  Sadly,  so will he.

The Egg Lady

When I was about eight years old, a particular Amish woman (aka "the egg lady") came to our neighborhood once a week with (of all things) fresh eggs.  My mother and the other suburban housewives would buy eggs and chat with her for a few moments. I remember watching this transaction from a distance. The egg lady's demeanor was polite enough, but she seemed unhappy to me. I remember wondering what she must feel like, driving her station wagon around town selling eggs.  It seemed lonely.  She was different.

As the daughter in a Midwestern Presbyterian family, I suppose it is not surprising that I managed to confuse the Amish with the Mormons.  I thought the Amish WERE the Mormons.  Sort of like Jack is sometimes referred to as John, or Julia can be called Julie.

Since I was confused about the identity of these two groups, I assumed that the "egg lady" was in a bad mood because her husband had other wives.  She was probably the one who got the lousy job of delivering the eggs while the other wives were at home eating cookies, drinking tea, and laughing.  

Luckily,  as I have grown older, I have become more informed about religion.  I no longer think that the "egg lady" is a polygamist, or for that matter, that the Mormons down the street are "getting it on" with multiple spouses.  

When I am hurt and angry about other peoples, less than knowledgeable, views on issues that matter to me. I remind myself of my own childish ignorance. It may seem funny...now.  But, I know that my ignorance, as a child, could easily have been interpreted as insensitivity, or even bigotry.  

Politics Inside the Classroom

In the classroom, I have always guarded my personal life.  I openly discuss my life with my son. Yet, I clearly keep my wife and our family stories out of the mix.

My students have many emotional challenges.  It has never seemed prudent to make my family a focus in the classroom.  From my perspective, the politics of adults should not interfere with the education of students.  

I still feel this way. 

Gay marriage will become the law of the land.  Of this, I am sure. Still, it is a contentious issue that has divided families, states, and countries.  It is never fun to be on the losing side.  Be sure, the right wing conservatives will be on the losing side of this issue. 

For the moment, I will relish our victories and our minor setbacks with those who can celebrate, comfort and support me.  My students will not be privy to my personal life.  It isn't their business.

I am a teacher.  I am proud to be a teacher....and I love my students.