On the Outside

The terms "liberal and conservative" have been tossed around for so long that neither has much appeal.  "Liberals" are associated with socialistic policies, and loosely held moral standards.  The conservative aspect is often seen as aligned with elitism, bigotry and hate.  Neither of these characterizations are complete or entirely accurate.

They do, however, make it easy for the average person to "pick a side".  "Side-picking" is what it is all about, isn't it?

The reality is that people are busy.  They don't have the time to delve deeply into issues and policies, even though they are directly or indirectly affected.  Hence, the need for simplistic characterizations, such as, liberal and conservative.

Recently, the passage of RFRA, in the state of Indiana, created a massive stir.  Huge names in business, politics, and entertainment pushed back hard on this "conservative" policy.  Governor Pence and Indiana's state legislative bodies, in the end, were forced to modify RFRA.

Conservatives lead with cries for religious freedom, while liberals countered with the need for anti-discrimination protections for LBGT persons.  Pressure was applied and conservatives gave ground.

At heart, both sides simply want respect. People of faith want to live their faith in accordance with their beliefs.  LGBT people want to be viewed as equals and treated fairly at work, at play, and at worship.

Last night, I attended a Town Hall event intended to clarify RFRA and continue to mobilize LGBT citizens to participate in their government. As I looked around the room, I saw and heard many intelligent people express their desire and hope for equity in all aspects of their lives.

I also discovered my injuries and personal pain from years of living a less than authentic life. Then, I multiplied my pain by thousands.  I discovered the exponential pain of the LGBT citizens of our world.  I wanted to run to the shadows, hidden from your view. I also wanted to stand up and be recognized.  Big things are really never simple.

As we legislate in our country, our states, and our communities, let's weigh the cost of any law in measure of the human pain it will procure.   Are the benefits grounded in equity?  Do the benefits outweigh the human cost?

Of course this is a much more difficult course to take.  It is far easier to continue to see ourselves as simply "liberals" and "conservatives" and make all of our decisions based on these shallow measures.

Politics Inside the Classroom

In the classroom, I have always guarded my personal life.  I openly discuss my life with my son. Yet, I clearly keep my wife and our family stories out of the mix.

My students have many emotional challenges.  It has never seemed prudent to make my family a focus in the classroom.  From my perspective, the politics of adults should not interfere with the education of students.  

I still feel this way. 

Gay marriage will become the law of the land.  Of this, I am sure. Still, it is a contentious issue that has divided families, states, and countries.  It is never fun to be on the losing side.  Be sure, the right wing conservatives will be on the losing side of this issue. 

For the moment, I will relish our victories and our minor setbacks with those who can celebrate, comfort and support me.  My students will not be privy to my personal life.  It isn't their business.

I am a teacher.  I am proud to be a teacher....and I love my students.

Closets are for Clothes

It is much more comfortable to live outside of the closet.  First of all, there is absolutely no room in a closet. The lighting is terrible and it is an awful location for a party. On the other hand, it has always been a sorta safe place. A place where hate, opinions, and antiquated laws seemed to drift into oblivion.

Love doesn't fit well into closets.  Love is large and expansive.  Shame and fear are well-suited for small places.  Closets are for clothes.  In America, some people's closets are bigger than other people's homes. That, however, is fodder for another blog.

On Friday,  I boldly slammed the door on my personal closet of shame and fear.  Since Nicole and I were married on Wednesday (in the expansive state of Indiana), I decided to contact the HR rep for my school and add Nicole to my health insurance policy. As I pressed the send button on this email, my sweat glands engaged and I choked a bit.  This contracting emotion was quickly followed by joy.  Some things are worth the fear of losing a job.  Loving Nicole is one of those things.

There will be a massive celebration when fear makes way for love.  Following love is the only way we can create a world without violence, or hate, or war. Following love is the only way to heal.  Following love is the only way to set aside our need to control and allow ourselves to be consumed by faith and trust.

Love Rules Fear

Fear is a natural state.  Fear causes the body to contract, temperature to rise, visual acuity to increase and a host of behavioral changes.  The more frightened an animal or a human becomes, the more obvious it is to any observer.  Fear can look really big.

Humans are fight or flight animals. The fight or flight response is great to have when a threat actually exists.  Without fear, we might behave really slowly and inappropriately, when faced with a car swerving toward us.  The fight or flight response is a great system to have in your back pocket when danger is imminent.

The problem with the fight or flight response, in humans, is that we tend to perceive danger where there is none.  Once we perceive that something is "dangerous" then our whole limbic system starts to amp up.  Once we are amped, fear can have a deleterious affect on our cognitive and decision-making processes.

There are an amazing array of phobias that illustrate this point.  Homophobia, or the fear of people who are attracted to members of the same sex, is one example.  This phobia causes the sufferer to avoid same-sex couples, to bully individuals, or to use the court system to suppress the rights of a minority of people who are oriented to love and form families with members of the same sex.

Fear is a powerful and natural state.  Fear is designed to protect the individual from imminent danger or harm.  However, when the fight or flight response is engaged when there is no actual danger the reaction becomes dysfunctional.  In the case of homophobia, exposure to the feared person or group will ultimately extinguish it.  In the meantime, patience and love is required. We need to support the phobia sufferer and move forward in the face of their irrational fear, until love is triumphant.