Faith and Equity

Religion is a personal belief system selected by individuals and groups. A democratic government is a public agency that is engendered to define policies, systems, and rules that guide a diverse populace. It is really that simple.

In the United States, any person should be able to practice any religion, without fear of harassment or discrimination. Since religious beliefs and practices are so diverse, it is the role of government to ensure that all religions are treated fairly. 

The same-sex marriage debate is an issue that is deeply intertwined with Christian tradition. Religious leaders and practitioners should feel free to argue the merits of performing same-sex marriages as a part of their religious services.  Our government should not and does not interfere with religious freedoms that impact individual churches and their membership.

Conversely, the role of a democratic government is to ensure that all groups are treated fairly and equitably.  In a highly pluralistic society, government cannot align with a specific religious ideology. If that were the case, then all other religious ideologies would become subordinate to the primary ideology. Theology cannot rule in a democracy.

The rules and practices that guide a democratic government are developed through conversations with its constituents. Constituents that insist upon making arguments based upon religious tenets should expect to be discounted.  Religion cannot inform a democratic government. 

Religion's role is to provide a place of worship for it's membership.  Government's role is to provide a peaceful and just society where all people, including minority groups, may flourish.

What Lies Beyond the Village?

In 2010, we established new roots in the quaint Midwestern town of Carmel, IN. We selected our neighborhood because of the people, not the homes.  Our neighborhood is filled with families. There are scads of children and parents that are invested in the education and the lifestyle that this community provides.  When purchasing this home, we had already decided that our son would grow up here.

We wanted to recreate our childhood for Turner.  A childhood marked by stability and consistency.  A place where neighbors became friends and children grew.  We wanted a village of like-minded people. 

In the four years since we first settled in this community, Turner has encountered the loss of three families in close emotional and physical proximity to ours. These families contained a total of eight of Turner's good friends.  

Turner loves an entourage.  He is a classic example of an extrovert.  In his mind, "the more the merrier", is a way of life.  He is a peacekeeper, a scuffle settler and a communicator.  The losses that Turner has experienced has given the saying, "It takes a village..", new meaning in our lives.   

The truth?  The village is gone.  The neighborhood that Nicole and I knew as children, has been replaced by collections of families that mingle less and move more. Driven by money, career, bigger homes and opportunity, the village has become a relic of the past.

Ours is a strong and self-reliant family.  We know how to nurture one another and move through changes.  Turner has recovered quickly from his losses, but is mindful that loss is imminent.  At ten years of age he has experienced more loss than I did in twenty years.

I wonder about the impact of this shift on our world.  I wonder if our neighborhoods are less cohesive and if our bonds are more shallow.  I wonder if this makes our neighborhoods more like large cities where anonymity among neighbors is commonplace.

Turner's losses will not deter us from reaching across the street, but we will do so, knowing that all connections are temporal.  Sadly,  so will he.

Closets are for Clothes

It is much more comfortable to live outside of the closet.  First of all, there is absolutely no room in a closet. The lighting is terrible and it is an awful location for a party. On the other hand, it has always been a sorta safe place. A place where hate, opinions, and antiquated laws seemed to drift into oblivion.

Love doesn't fit well into closets.  Love is large and expansive.  Shame and fear are well-suited for small places.  Closets are for clothes.  In America, some people's closets are bigger than other people's homes. That, however, is fodder for another blog.

On Friday,  I boldly slammed the door on my personal closet of shame and fear.  Since Nicole and I were married on Wednesday (in the expansive state of Indiana), I decided to contact the HR rep for my school and add Nicole to my health insurance policy. As I pressed the send button on this email, my sweat glands engaged and I choked a bit.  This contracting emotion was quickly followed by joy.  Some things are worth the fear of losing a job.  Loving Nicole is one of those things.

There will be a massive celebration when fear makes way for love.  Following love is the only way we can create a world without violence, or hate, or war. Following love is the only way to heal.  Following love is the only way to set aside our need to control and allow ourselves to be consumed by faith and trust.

Words Matter

Words matter. They really do.  Our reality is shaped, at least in part, by the words we use. Sports psychologists are well aware of the impact of words on the performance of an athlete. Anxiety begins with negative self-talk intertwined with negative mental images. These words and images have the potential to cripple the performance of the most gifted athlete.  I know, I was one of those athletes.

Athletes aren't the only people affected by the power of words.  Words have universal influence. They effect all people.  They transcend culture, race, sexual orientation, religion, age, gender, and disability. Words matter.  Words are powerful.

Each generation modifies the language of prior generations. This past year, I have heard the use of the words kill, dead, death, shoot, die with increasing frequency, and in a variety of contexts. Most often, I hear these words from children and the media.

Yesterday, my son and his friend were playing Minecraft.  His friend kept saying, "Kill him! Kill him!" (I am sure there must have been some "googlies" lurking about). A few minutes later, I heard my son say the same words to his friend.

I asked the boys to have a chat with me.  I told them that it is hard for me to listen to them say "Kill him!"  I explained that killing results in death and that death is permanent.  My son rolled his eyes at me and said, "It is JUST a video game."   "I know, I know,"  I replied.  "But, it would be more accurate to say "Defeat him!  Since, the creeper will not really die, but spawn again."  The boys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and said, "Ok!"

For the remainder of their screen time, I reminded them, a couple of times, to switch from the word "kill" to the word "defeat".  They seemed to accept this modification to their language with little concern.  As a parent and an educator, I don't have to accept what the media generates and what our children and students repeat.  I  have a voice and a conscience.  Words matter. They really do.

The Heart of a Child

The most powerful and meaningful learning begins in the human heart.  It is our relationships with others that serve as the catalyst for these lessons. Yet, we leave the development of this critical domain almost entirely out of our schools.  We create rules to enforce suppression of behaviors, but do not teach students how to manage difficult emotions. We leave these lessons to the family and the church. In many instances, the family and the church are not adept at guiding young people in this area of human development.

Lessons of the heart are not as complicated as they may seem.  It is the lack of understanding and practice that make this domain so challenging.  Mostly, young people need to develop strategies for honoring and expressing their feelings in the right place, with the right people, and at the right time.  If schools begin these lessons early on, students will develop methods for managing their feelings and a tolerance for the most difficult of human emotions: fear, anger and pain.

It follows that if our students develop these skills at a young age and then continue to hone them, they will be less likely to turn to food, alcohol, violence, and self-harm to cope with the impact of these emotions.  They will be more likely to employ strategies that enable them to live harmoniously with their emotional selves and harness the power of their hearts.

Next Blog: Skill 1:  Awareness

Flipping or Flipping Out?

What if we REALLY flipped it? What if our current workforce was infused with the ideas, gifts, and interests of today's students, instead of the other way around?

Currently,  unless a youngster is a gifted entrepreneur, it takes 40 to 50 years for the average person to have any sort of impact on the bureaucracy of business and government. For young people, this is a grueling and exhausting path that squashes motivation and desire.

The age of technology has shown that we are still a country of innovators and pioneers. Yet, we grind our children through a seemingly endless process of practice runs and assessments before we let them try out their own ideas. Honestly, our mistakes are really pretty glaring.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that we have a host of economic, political, and environmental problems.

We need to quit tinkering with education and find ways to engage students in solving the problems that face their generation, right now. We need to bring them to the table much earlier and reward them. 

Flipping, in this sense, requires a change in the way we overlap and infuse education and work. There needs to be multiple avenues into the real world that students can access at much younger ages.  We can't really afford to wait.  What we are doing now is simply wasting one of most valuable resources: the gifts, interests, and ideas of our young.

Sculpting a Life

One of the benefits of of following your heart is becoming better acquainted with who you are. This weekend, I followed my heart to Ft. Myers Beach to compete in an amateur sand sculpting competition. On Saturday, I awoke early, left my aging parents in slumber, chugged some coffee, and drove in my economy rental car to the nearest Lowes. There, I purchased a spade, a bucket, and plastic spatulas.  With tools in tow, I headed for the beach.

It was barely 8 am, the sun had risen, and the temperatures were already warm.   As I looked out at the expansive ocean, the remaining tension seeped from my body into the hard sand beneath my feet. 

Though the morning started with joy and phenomenal peace, anxiety quickly crept into my psyche as sand clumped with shells proved difficult to form and shape.  Saturday was practice day, I thought to myself.  What if I couldn't make the sand work...tomorrow was the competition, I would surely embarrass myself in front of all of the much more experienced and more talented sculptors. What if...? What if..? What if...? My mind raced with self-doubt.

One of the great aspects of aging is that anxiety gives way to self-assurance far more quickly than when I was younger. After several failed attempts with the sand, I decided to stop practicing, enjoy the day and hope for better sand, tomorrow, at the site of the competition.   

Sunday morning I was a bundle of nervous energy.  Having never entered a competition, I arrived early to ensure I had time to register and to take a look around. The master sculptors were hard at work, building magnificent, creative sand scenes.  Luckily, my sand area was much smaller and filled with a mere metric ton of sand that I would be moving and shaping. The solo masters are required to work with 10 tons of sand.  This physical element of the competition has led many sculptors to suggest that this medium is a sport, as well as, an art form. My muscles agree!

Today, as I fly home to Indiana. My attitude is brighter, more confident, and at peace.  This weekend, I challenged myself to follow a personal dream. Tomorrow, as I talk about and show pictures of my adventure to my students, I hope that in some small way I will inspire each of them to step inside their hearts and listen for the subtle guidance that will lead them to their dreams.

A Heart's Journey

Over the course of a lifetime dreams ebb and flow.  Some never become more than quiet murmurings.  Others take subtle root in our minds and hearts and germinate beneath the surface.

Twenty-five years have passed since my first experience sculpting sand.  This weekend, I will reconnect with this passion as I attempt to make sand and water resemble a manatee mother and her calf.

Risking to follow my heart's journey is more important than any class that I have taken or grade that I have received.  My hope is, that by following my own dream,  I will encourage each of my student's to look inward and then follow their own heart's journey.

The Elephant in the Room

When will we connect the dots?  Students and teachers continue to die as violence in our schools continues to escalate. What has changed?  What is different?  

The elephant in the room is technology.  With advances in technology has come increasing evidence that there are some among us who simply cannot handle this freedom.  One dead student is one too many.  One dead teacher is one too many.

Video game technology has advanced to the point that young and old alike can experience the impact of killing another human being, from a first person perspective.  The impact is repeated, violent, and so realistic that it creates a vivid, almost real killing experience.

Young minds, that are not full-developed, either cognitively or socially-emotionally, are saturated in this realistic violent gaming world for hours that stretch in to years. Haven't enough people died?  How many more Colleen Ritzer's and Reggie Landsbury's must there be?