Teaching with Humanity

I often get called out for being self-effacing.  Truthfully, this is a misperception on the part of the complimenter. It is not that I am not appreciative of kind words...I AM!  I love it when people notice that students transform (often quickly) when placed in my program.  As a professional, nothing touches my heart more deeply.

The side step I take, when offered compliments regarding my students, is really an invitation to talk about how these techniques can benefit students in any educational setting.  I would love to take credit, I really would.  The reality is that these techniques can be employed by anyone!  For this reason, I have decided to share my perspective and techniques in the classroom.

I will be using this blog, along with other avenues, as a way to reach out and hopefully help other professionals experience similar success and delight as they watch their students transform.

Step 1: Ditch "Cool".  What is "cool" anyway?  Cool is a moving target. It is a whimsical concept that is often times only attached to surface characteristics and personality. 

Step 2:  Be You.  It is what is underneath that matters. Allow students to know you.  Especially, allow your students to see you as human. Being human involves making errors and corrections. This applies to all aspects of life: relationships, learning, trying new adventures, large and small. It applies to starting a hobby, leaving something behind, committing yourself to someone or something larger than you. Quality of life improves as imperfections are both recognized and accepted.  Making mistakes and corrections is the essence of school and life.

Step 3: Find and Walk Your Ethics.  While being you and being imperfect, it is also supremely important that you define and walk your ethics in all aspects of your work and life. That is, recognizing your imperfections while keeping your focus upon your objectives.  This process teaches students, through modeling, that standards matter. That having standards/ethics provides the direction, and challenges each individual to continue to move toward a better version of themselves.

My students know me. They don't know everything about me. But, they know my essence and my ethics. They understand what I value. They also understand that I allow each of them to explore and hold fast to their own values.  If you haven't noticed already, being a teacher is much more than being a content expert. In fact, content expertise though important, is secondary to your practice of being human.

Waiting to be Noticed

Following passion is going to be an epic ride.  No longer waiting to be noticed by others, it is time I noticed myself.  This is truly a breakthrough thought that occurred to me, as I started researching a new follower on my Twitter feed.  I can't begin to explain how social media works from an entrepreneurial perspective. How this follower came to follow me is a mystery. It doesn't really matter.  What caught my eye was her apparent courage (and fear) as she defined herself.  I started to look at her life as it appears online.  As I studied her, I felt a familiar feeling that, in the past, has been momentarily riveting, but that I have never actually followed.  The feeling is passion.  The passion for taking risks, for walking in truth and outside of ego.

In my youth, I took risks, both personal and professional. In some instances, I mistook ego for passion. The result was many stumbles and bruises. At the time, my ego was quite fragile.  The stumbles and bruises  felt like mortal wounds.  In fact, they were not. They did, however, lead me in a different direction.  They also humbled me. I had "failed". That "failure" haunted me for 13 years.  Until now.

Until today.

Today, as I read about this woman's life (online brand) I began to connect, once again, with my own passion.  I noticed that this passion was pure and disconnected from accolades, riches, and fame. Rather, the feeling was a nudge to notice myself, to notice my excitement and my potential.  It was a nudge to depend on myself and define my own path forward, one step at a time, in tune with my gifts, and ready to dive headfirst into an immersive and authentic life.

Little Risks = Big Shifts

Nicole has been telling me for years to get a "hobby"! My response has always been,  "I will when I don't have so much to do!" Secretly, I thought she was encouraging me to shirk my responsibilities.  In reality, she was simply trying to guide me toward expanding my "life practice".

This week, I realized I do have a hobby. Worrying. Talk about a treadmill that leads nowhere. What a bore, makes for excellent conversation, right?

Nicole: What did you do today, hon?"
Me: Uhhhhhh.....Worried.
Nicole: "Oh wow! Cool! How did that go?"
Me: Bad. Bad. Not good!
Nicole: "Yikes!  Watcha' gonna do tomorrow?"
Me: Same.
Nicole:  ??

22 years later...

This has been one long ride.  That is, until last week. Last week, I decided to take a small risk to shake it up. It couldn't hurt, right?  I could always go back to worrying.

So, last Wednesday, I took a jump at Hot Yoga.  It is a very sweaty business, which wasn't the risk.  The risk was all the MIRRORS! Somebody has put a middle-aged woman in my body! I am not kidding you. This was a complete shock and she looks absolutely nothing like me!

Worse yet, I joined the class with my friend the middle-aged super model.  You know the type..pretty, youngish, swaggy looking with rock hard abs and the legs of a 30 year old. Not cool. Plus, she had on this yoga attire that looked like a second skin. Her muscles ripped next to my cellulite infused thighs.  Nice. Great.

We laughed as she tried to help me look/feel presentable. Sweet as pie, she threw me yoga tops in the parking lot that no longer fit her, but made me look like a stripper in a wet tshirt contest. Laughing so hard, we both wished we had thought to wear a lady diaper.  We finally gave up, and I decided to rock my vneck cotton tshirt and my bell bottom running pants.

Once inside, we were both charmed by the effusive Hot Yoga instructor who tried to quell our fears of spending 1 1/2 hours in a 104 degree room performing yoga positions that were advertised for beginners, but in actuality, were more like moves from cirque du soleil.

But, we showed up and we tried. I made peace with the stranger in the mirror and managed to believe that I could finish the class without passing out or bolting from the room. And I did! Saturday we went back again.  This time, I had an outfit.

Saying Good-bye to Vacation: AKA, Hello Slogging

Shouldn't life be fun? Not all the time, but MOST of the time?  I don't want to feel like I am always waiting for my "weekend sandwich".  Thirty-six hours to rest, do chores and then, it's Monday...uhhhggg. Back to work. Weeks are long and sandwich's just aren't enough.

Don't get me wrong! Teaching, helping kids and working with like-minded adults is great! It's not the work...per se..it is the pace and the timing of work.  My dream is to say, "Get things started, I will be in by 10...ish". Not every day...but, some days...and other days I will be there by 8 am. It's not that I am lazy, I just want to follow my own beat.  I want flexibility.

I know, I sound like a whiner. I sound soft. Maybe I am. But, maybe I am not.

Is it wrong to want a high quality life? Is it wrong to want to bring your best to ALL of your life...not just to work?

I am ready for something new. Not sure what it is. But, I am definitely ready to get out of the 9 am-5 pm rut, or in my case, 7am - 5pm, or 7am - 7pm, or 9pm. Depends on the day, right?

Big Girl Panties: The Forest Wins (Again)!

Graceful is not a word that I would use to describe my life. In 2013, I was pushed off the treadmill, (once again) and into the woods. The woods are so peaceful. Then, of course, there are bugs, poison ivy, cold and hot weather, snakes, spiders...well, you get the picture. So, though I always land softly amid the undergrowth, daily life in the natural world can be a bit of a challenge.  I didn't even have a tent. Well, I did have an expensive house that came with the treadmill. I had car payments, health care, dental floss and Bed Bath and Beyond on my shopping list. In the woods, my currency was my imagination.  Although my imagination was handy, it wasn't of tangible assistance when the bills were due.

So, what now? Hmmm....I got nuthin'. 
  The phone rang, and one of my dearest friends,  said..."Hey! there is a teaching job available, it would be a great fit while you sort this out!" Unenthused, I said, "Thanks."

Really.  Teaching.  Again? 

I interviewed, laughed at the salary, and took the job. I was SO humbled.

Back to the woods. 

I had my ego up my a'rse. Plainly, I couldn't play kindly with others. Not because I am not nice, but because I was SO ticked off to be on the treadmill in the first place.  My ego wanted to be a hotshot with money flowin' from my Banana Republic pants. My heart was in a different place. 

My heart wanted to learn to love unconditionally. I did not have a clue about that. 

Life has a way of teaching. Sometimes it feels like my undies are riding up. Not pleasant. Time for a different size or undies design. Maybe I needed big girl panties. Oh my, not BIG GIRL PANTIES!

Fast forward. Still in the woods.  Teaching students with emotionally creative coping mechanisms. Hmmm. Might I see myself in these little people? Yes. I believe so. 

I am not out of the woods. Doubt if I will ever leave, again. I have found way too much peace here. I am a better mate, a better mother, a better friend than I have ever been.  It isn't all about me... and, I have learned that I DO matter.