A Balance-Driven Life

I am old enough to remember the first time I watched TV at school.  It was a big deal.  Walter Cronkite was reporting the details of the Martin Luther King assassination.  The impact of his death and the magnitude of this event was initially dwarfed by my excitement.  Television was still relatively new and had never been a part of our learning process. I was just a kid.

That weekend, I had a cold and was bound to the couch.  I watched Martin Luther King's funeral live on a a little 12 inch black and white TV.  This time, the significance of his death became real to me. Masses of people were grieving. I was moved. For the first time, I cried for someone I did not know and would never know.  The television allowed me to participate, to be touched by this man and to discover, firsthand, the beginnings of an amazing legacy. 

The year that King died, there were three TV channels.  Our family watched television together, after dinner.  When my parents were young,  their families would gather each evening around the radio.  

Media was a family event.  What was heard and seen was discussed at dinner tables and among family and friends.

Playboy magazine was behind the counter at the drugstore and covered in brown paper.  Of course, I wanted to peek, but couldn't.  Today, the Internet is a window not only to a wealth of information, but also a portal to any image or sound imaginable.

I am a proponent of change. I am a supporter of a technology-infused curriculum.  TV had a big impact on my life as a learner. Today, computers and devices of all types are providing innovative and creative opportunities for students and teachers.

Still, I am not quite comfortable in this high speed, high tech, device-driven life. I wonder about the ramifications of too much connectedness, too much information, too much of the time. I wonder if I can set the limits that children need to feel safe in such a complex world.

A Letter To Parents

Growth is a jagged line. Nothing, in nature, grows in a precise manner all of the time.  Between birth and death a human being changes incessantly.  Images capture the visible changes.  Underneath the skin, change is even more rapid and complex.

As students enter our classrooms this year, we will observe their visible changes. Some students will have grown taller, or heavier.  Their skin and hair may be different.  Perhaps they are wearing new clothes or new shoes.  New binders, tablets, and phones may emerge from pockets or back packs.  

Concurrently, we will take in social and emotional impressions. We will identify which students are open and talkative.  We will look for eye contact and conversation between and among peers. We will notice the students who place their heads upon the desk, curling inward or away from their peers, school, or us.

These observations happen prior to the beginning of each class and continue every day.  We seek to connect with the person within, while trying to increase each student's skill level. Cognizant that students enter our room with varying aptitudes, different backgrounds, cultures, and socio-economic experiences. 

Sometimes we fail.  More often we provide students with sound opportunities to grow intellectually, socially, and emotionally.  We are your children's teachers. We are a team.  We have the same goal.  We want your children to succeed and most of all, to be happy.

Words Matter

Words matter. They really do.  Our reality is shaped, at least in part, by the words we use. Sports psychologists are well aware of the impact of words on the performance of an athlete. Anxiety begins with negative self-talk intertwined with negative mental images. These words and images have the potential to cripple the performance of the most gifted athlete.  I know, I was one of those athletes.

Athletes aren't the only people affected by the power of words.  Words have universal influence. They effect all people.  They transcend culture, race, sexual orientation, religion, age, gender, and disability. Words matter.  Words are powerful.

Each generation modifies the language of prior generations. This past year, I have heard the use of the words kill, dead, death, shoot, die with increasing frequency, and in a variety of contexts. Most often, I hear these words from children and the media.

Yesterday, my son and his friend were playing Minecraft.  His friend kept saying, "Kill him! Kill him!" (I am sure there must have been some "googlies" lurking about). A few minutes later, I heard my son say the same words to his friend.

I asked the boys to have a chat with me.  I told them that it is hard for me to listen to them say "Kill him!"  I explained that killing results in death and that death is permanent.  My son rolled his eyes at me and said, "It is JUST a video game."   "I know, I know,"  I replied.  "But, it would be more accurate to say "Defeat him!  Since, the creeper will not really die, but spawn again."  The boys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and said, "Ok!"

For the remainder of their screen time, I reminded them, a couple of times, to switch from the word "kill" to the word "defeat".  They seemed to accept this modification to their language with little concern.  As a parent and an educator, I don't have to accept what the media generates and what our children and students repeat.  I  have a voice and a conscience.  Words matter. They really do.

The Practice of Love

I am passionate about love.  Not because I am an undiscovered Dali or MT (Mother Theresa), but because I am definitely NOT.

In my 40's I joined a meditation group.  At the beginning of each session, the leader asked the group to think of something that evoked the feeling of love. Something that made each of us FEEL love....a baby, an athletic team, a spouse or partner...anything.  I couldn't.  Nothing came. My heart felt nothing. My self-esteem took a plunge.

That was almost 16 years ago.  Today, feeling love is a central part of my day and my life.  Love is my compass.  Growing love is not unlike growing corn, tomatoes, or a student.  It takes time, commitment, and practice to get the outcome you want.

Many people are confused about the nature of love.  Love is not the same as desire or attraction. Scott Peck, does an outstanding job of explaining the difference between love and desire in his book, The Road Less Travelled. For a beginner, it is actually easier to discern what love IS NOT, than it is to discern what love IS.

On a pragmatic level, choices that are motivated by love tend to have better outcomes than choices driven solely by attraction or desire.  Attraction and desire are certainly a part of the mix...but their essence is not love.

As an educator, I often wonder why teaching love is primarily reserved for families and churches.  Love is a feeling and a practice. Love is a compass that can guide the most important life decisions.  My question is, does developing a student's practice of love conflict with a student's religious practice or, do these practices simply compliment one another? What do you think?

The Heart of a Child

The most powerful and meaningful learning begins in the human heart.  It is our relationships with others that serve as the catalyst for these lessons. Yet, we leave the development of this critical domain almost entirely out of our schools.  We create rules to enforce suppression of behaviors, but do not teach students how to manage difficult emotions. We leave these lessons to the family and the church. In many instances, the family and the church are not adept at guiding young people in this area of human development.

Lessons of the heart are not as complicated as they may seem.  It is the lack of understanding and practice that make this domain so challenging.  Mostly, young people need to develop strategies for honoring and expressing their feelings in the right place, with the right people, and at the right time.  If schools begin these lessons early on, students will develop methods for managing their feelings and a tolerance for the most difficult of human emotions: fear, anger and pain.

It follows that if our students develop these skills at a young age and then continue to hone them, they will be less likely to turn to food, alcohol, violence, and self-harm to cope with the impact of these emotions.  They will be more likely to employ strategies that enable them to live harmoniously with their emotional selves and harness the power of their hearts.

Next Blog: Skill 1:  Awareness

From Dream to Reality: A Professional Development Exercise

It is 5:17 am on Tuesday morning.  I am on vacation.  I can't sleep. Why?  Because I am now worrying about the amateur sand sculpting competition that I am participating in on November 22nd.  Grrrrrrrrrrr!  

Dreams are much MORE fun when they are simply dreams. As a risk-taker, my first obstacle is always myself. Once I commit myself, and start to take steps toward my dream, fear kicks in.  Fear of looking silly.  Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. With 55 years of experience you would think I would be at ease with risk-taking. The truth is, the more important something is to me, the more I sweat it. 

In the end, I know that I won't allow myself to be paralyzed by my fear.  I know that once I design the sculpture, practice in clay or some other medium, and show up on the sand, my love for this hobby will kick in.  I will begin to relax and sink in to that place inside of me where hand, heart, and creative spirit meet.  

Risk-taking connects me more deeply to myself and in turn, to all people. It tears away at my walls and reminds me of my humanness.  It puts me squarely in the role of learner.  As a teacher, I can't imagine a more powerful exercise.  

Miley Hits a Nerve

 In the past, newspapers, magazines, and television were the conveyors of information to the public. Agencies created restrictions that ensured that the content, provided by these mediums, was ready for prime time.  Professionals created the information and released it to the general public at a specific time of day.

The speed at which innovative technology has become available in the marketplace has out-paced our ability to regulate the delivery and timing of information.  Today, information is available anytime and anywhere. At the extremes the content can be both edifying and down right bizarre.

As a parent, this is a terrifying shift.  Through the eyes of an innocent child, information provided by the scholar and the kook are of equal value.  Frankly, the kook would likely be perceived as more entertaining and a lot easier to understand.

The recent Miley Cyrus fiasco points directly to this shift.  Television is now "old technology".  It represents the past and more traditional standards for information.  The fact that Miley "twerked"using this medium, sent shock waves through the audience, who were unprepared for a prime time display of soft-porn delivered by a Mouseketeer.