Thank You, Sensei

I have not lived purposefully.  Instead, my life has been a patchwork of connected experiences. Truthfully, I have never had the confidence to make and carry out a long-term plan. Instead, I have made short-term, often reactive decisions.

Decisions like, "WOW! Now there is a REAL HOTTIE!"  Or, "YES! I wanna go to the beach!"  Or, "Definitely, I want to go back to school!"  

That was a bit of levity.

Over the past couple of years, I have had the opportunity to get to know someone who has a very different approach to her life.  She is purposeful.  She is decisive. She eliminates obstacles and keeps her focus squarely on her family and work goals.

Needless to say, she has my deep admiration.  

My relationship with this 34 year old woman, coupled with aging, has caused me to reflect on my approach to my life.  At 55, my attitude has shifted from, there is plenty of time to do what I want, to, I need to make the MOST of the time I have left.  

In my 30's, I discovered a passion and a talent for sand-sculpting.  Like many sand artists, this interest emerged via beach vacation.  After several sculpting vacations, I discovered that this passion took me to places within myself that I simply could not evoke in any other way. I connect with an indescribable peace and humility.  I become keenly aware that as transient is the art, so are all things. 

What I have recognized, is that I have undervalued my skills, and my passions.  I have chosen to take the safe route and have not risked to gain the rewards that come from facing who I am and committing to my personal desires and goals.

Today, that is changing...today, I am making a public commitment to myself to pursue this dream...wherever it takes me.  

And today, I bow to my unwitting Sensei. Thank you for the lesson.  You will always have my deepest, most heartfelt gratitude.  You know who you are.