Yesterday, while getting my hair cut, my stylist said, "so I haven't seen you since the school shooting". "Right", I answered. Numbness and foreboding quickly spread throughout my body. As she continued to speak, her next few sentences floated somewhere above my auditory reach and hung in mid air.
My brain struggled to shift from a "getting my hair cut mindset" to the "new normal". A world where our youth are committing violent crimes against one another.
Gun violence is no longer an 'inner city issue' that has been perpetuated by the media. The media has defined gun violence as an issue for people of color, poor people, people on drugs...or an issue executed by 'fatherless children' whose rage feeds upon a desire for 'Nike tennis shoes' and familial ties...by gang members whose reality is detached from our own, by the streets that separate our neighborhoods.
Gun violence is in ALL neighborhoods. Gun violence is in ALL schools. Even if gun violence has yet to occur, the potential exists EVERYWHERE.
As adults, we are responsible. I am responsible.
The new normal mindset kicked in and my stylists words began to engage with my brain. "...my daughter was running through the field and talking to me frantically...she was in the gym..the first out the door". "I am so sorry", I said. "Is she OK?", I said.
Our conversation continued as we shared our experiences as teacher and parent on that day. Fear crystallized as I attempted to shake the dread from my core. I froze in place, on the inside. My brain processed our conversation on autopilot and I was able to maintain a semblance of engagement.
As I drove home, I was deeply shaken and yet unaware of the depth of my feelings until I arrived home, hugged my spouse close, and burst into tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment